


The Fundamental Principles of Human Behavior

by crystallitanie



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Competence Kink, F/M, Female Friendship, Natasha Romanov Joins SHIELD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 21:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14293545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystallitanie/pseuds/crystallitanie
Summary: Ten years, countless missions, four badass MCU ladies, and one hell of a friendship.





	The Fundamental Principles of Human Behavior

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to bring them all together right before Infinity War, and this happened.
> 
> Many thanks to **kiss_me_cassie** and **Inkvoices** for amazing beta, input and encouragement.

_**Five Signs of a Healthy Relationship**  
by **Susan Carter** , Junior Writer_

__

_So, congratulations! In a world where relationships are getting increasingly hard, you did it – you have finally found The One. And now you can't help but wonder: will it last?_

__

__

__

_Sex is an important part of every relationship, but passionate nights do not necessarily guarantee happy days (although the tips we're giving you in “Wild Zest”, see p.87 of this issue, will certainly help you keep that flame alive for as long as possible)!_

____

__

____

_But sexy times aside, here are five signs that your relationship is strong enough to overcome a lifetime of hard days, workplace temptations, and potentially toxic in-laws._

_____ _

__

_____ _

 

_____ _

Sharon is not even remotely ashamed to admit it: this has been really fun.

_____ _

What wasn’t to like, really? She was living in a normal apartment for a change, even if it was just this side of bigger than a shoebox. She was working nine to five. With the exception of that night she was rifling through the Fashion Editor's desk drawers, she's spent the last five months with her manicure intact – hell, she's even had the time to get manicures. She was having fucking _lunch breaks_.

_____ _

All in all, there are worse ways to spend three months undercover than pretending to be young and overly eager Susan Carter from Boulder, Colorado, fresh out of university, who started as an intern in _Metropolitan_ magazine and was ecstatic to be promoted to Junior Writer within six weeks. 

_____ _

North Korean spy caught and bundled off to Homeland Security for questioning, courtesy of SHIELD, she gets back to DC for debriefing. The mission was a resounding success, even if Fury seems unamused by her career achievements.

_____ _

“We sent you in as an _intern_ , Carter. There was no need to outdo yourself by climbing up the office hierarchy so quickly.”

_____ _

“What can I say, Director, I always try to overachieve.”

_____ _

Hill maintains her stony expression, while Sitwell doesn't even pretend to hide his snort. Sharon likes Jasper, she really does, but one of these days he'll have to face the fact that he's a shitty handler. If he had spent as much time mapping the interdepartmental relations of the magazine before sending her in as he spent pinning up her articles in his office for a good laugh with the STRIKE teams after she had managed to be promoted, this whole thing would had been wrapped up a lot sooner – and she wouldn't had been forced to write increasingly horrific sexual advice.

_____ _

“I'm well aware that your promotion granted you access to places and people an intern doesn't normally have. From that point of view you certainly overachieved, overcoming the obstacles you would have otherwise faced as a result of a rather poorly planned mission.” Fury's scowl is briefly directed at Sitwell, who isn't laughing anymore. “I sincerely regret the fact that your face appears next to an article with the title _Wild Zest_ in half a million copies across the nation. I sure as hell hope I won't see any of these copies in this Helicarrier.”

_____ _

Fury's scowl is directed at Sitwell again, who nods demurely with a glint in his eye. Sharon doesn't even dignify his theatrics with a glare. The moment she set foot in HQ two hours ago, she knew that this wasn't going to blow over anytime soon.

_____ _

 

_____ _

Hill loves gossip as much as the next SHIELD agent, which is to say, ridiculously much. 

_____ _

“I'm telling you, Fury shit bricks when he saw the issue. I hadn't seen him so vocal since Barton brought Romanoff in.”

_____ _

May coughs. Natasha raises an eyebrow.

_____ _

“What? Oh, piss off – you were right there, you hardly need me to tone it down.”

_____ _

“I'm going to kill Jasper,” Sharon mutters darkly. “This whole thing has grown to such epic proportions just because of him. This morning Rumlow cornered me in the hallway and asked me what's the best sex position in a Quinjet.”

_____ _

“What did you do?”

_____ _

“I told him that if he managed to find someone willing to try it with him, I would gladly give her some tips.”

_____ _

“Ignore him, he's just pissed Natasha wiped the mats with his ass yesterday,” Maria says. “And Sitwell might occasionally be a jerk, but he's not a sexist pig. The reason he found this funny was because he was curious, and so am I: how the hell did you manage to keep writing this bullshit for three months? Isn't there a limit you hit or something?”

_____ _

“This coming from a woman who believes paperwork is sacred,” May mutters.

_____ _

“The sex stuff was just research,” Sharon explains with a shudder around the first bite of her meatloaf. God, she definitely hadn't missed cafeteria food. “And the rest was very easy really. These are fundamental principles.”

_____ _

“Say what?” Maria asks incredulously. 

_____ _

May throws back her head laughing. “Seriously, Carter? Putting your panties _inside there_ before going for drinks with your boyfriend is a _sureproof way to make him crazy_?”

_____ _

“You know,” Natasha says thoughtfully, “I've concealed far worse things down there.”

_____ _

Sharon tries not to process this too much. “I'm not talking about _Wild Zest_ ,” she says. The trio starts laughing again. “Oh, sod off. Whether you like it or not, there are fundamental principles governing human relationships. They apply to the vast majority of the population. You lot are just unable to grasp them, because you're a bunch of sociopaths who get off on how many kills you can get in one minute. Natasha, tell them.”

_____ _

“Seriously? You're asking _Romanoff's_ opinion on human relationships? One year ago she thought that the goal of morning practice was to kill her opponent.”

_____ _

There's silence at the table.

_____ _

“That was unnecessarily unkind,” Natasha says softly. “I'm trying.”

_____ _

Maria looks contrite. “I'm sorry, Nat. I took it too far. I know you're trying and no one is prouder than me with how well you've been doing— you're playing me, aren't you?”

_____ _

May laughs even harder. 

_____ _

“God, you're such an asshole,” Maria complains.

_____ _

“And by that, of course, she means that you're a bigger asshole than her and she can't stand it,” Sharon clarifies. Natasha looks inordinately pleased.

_____ _

Sharon isn’t sure that she can call these spontaneous coffee dates a friendship —not yet, at least— but after three months of office drama between former sorority girls, she'd definitely missed them.

_____ _

 

_____ _

Half a year later, Sharon is forced to corner Barton in his quarters and spell it out that Natasha is in love with him, because the whole thing has gotten ridiculous. She leaves for a mission the same day and things go downhill almost from the moment she lands — _seriously, Jasper_ — so she puts the possible results of her yenta-ing to the back of her mind. 

_____ _

Three weeks later her personal phone receives an invitation to a message thread that includes her, Natasha, May, and Hill. The thread is buried under layers upon layers of encryption, it's hosted by a nondescript server somewhere in Estonia, and it requires access with Sharon's fucking fingerprint. 

_____ _

It contains a single message from Natasha: _Thank you_.

_____ _

She blinks, unsure if she should be touched or disturbed, and in the meantime a message arrives from May, who seems pretty unfazed with the Black-Widow-stole-my-fingerprint situation: _I'm going to assume you mean me, because I'm shipping off to Bahrain with Coulson tomorrow. I'll have to listen to his speculations for seven hours. I really hope the sex is worth it, Romanoff._

_____ _

Sharon smiles, but what really makes her laugh is Hill's response:

_____ _

_If this thread is not encrypted at least ten times better than SHIELD's servers, I'm going to kill you._

_____ _

 

_____ _

*

_____ _

_1\. Trust_

_____ _

_Trust is difficult to build, but it's fundamental for a healthy relationship. Of course you must trust your partner to be faithful to you, but this should not be limited to the bedroom. If you trust them to stand by your side in hard times, if you feel safe in their presence, and if you'd be willing to do anything to make them feel safe and loved in return, then your relationship has the kind of trust that will make it last for a lifetime._

_____ _

 

_____ _

May comes back from Bahrain a different person.

_____ _

Natasha, who knows a thing or two about experiences so traumatic that they change you at a fundamental level, remains one of the few people who would dare to give her a pep talk but she refuses to do so. Instead she prods gently, looking for a reaction, and she's sad to realize that she's not going to get any. She lets time take its course and tells Hill and Carter to cut her a break.

_____ _

May takes a desk job, and Natasha has to restrain herself from lashing out whenever she hears the Cavalry nickname in the corridors. After a few months May informs them dispassionately that she and Andrew are getting divorced.

_____ _

One year later Clint gives her a gift so profound that, for the first time in her life, she feels the irresistible need to share her happiness with someone. After a minute's thought, she opens the forgotten thread and types a message.

_____ _

_R: So apparently I've been given a summer house as a gift._

_____ _

The phone pings almost immediately.

_____ _

_H: Merry Christmas, Natasha. Some of us are spending the day buried under a load of shit, so if you could stop gloating that would be excellent._

_____ _

_C: You're talking about being under a load of shit? You realize where I am right now?_

_____ _

_H: I was the one who sent you, cut the crap and secure the shipment!_

_____ _

_C: Fuck off. Enjoy the house, Natasha._

_____ _

Natasha keeps checking her phone expectantly for the next couple of hours, but there are no new messages. Then, late at night, she hears another ping.

_____ _

_M: It better be next to a beach. Send the coordinates._

_____ _

She smiles. On the road to recovery, then.

_____ _

 

_____ _

On the surface, nothing changes. She and Clint keep getting assigned to missions around the world, their partnership only strengthened by their newfound understanding. Carter is finally recognized for her ingenious navigation within the murky waters of international agencies and takes more undercover stints in obscure organizations. (Fury's paranoia is really going through the roof.) May keeps riding the desk, and Hill continues to give shit to everyone without exception.

_____ _

Natasha has no idea if Carter's “ _BRB”_ s in the message thread mean that she's currently opening the door to the pizza boy or killing someone with an FNX-45, but she's not really curious.

_____ _

“You know, it's kind of cute how you chat with your girlfriends even when you're in different parts of the planet,” Clint says.

_____ _

Natasha's face remains impassive. “It's part of my rehabilitation. Andrew said that I must force myself to maintain contact with people.”

_____ _

Clint flops on the couch and settles his head on her stomach, looking up at her. She raises her hands automatically to cradle his face and he grins. “Don't pull that shit on me, Tasha. I'm not making fun of you. It's nice.”

_____ _

She allows herself to smile too. It _is_ nice.

_____ _

“Are you exchanging sex tips?”

_____ _

She pinches his ear.

_____ _

“Aw! Oh well – maybe I'll hack it and see for myself. How hard can it be?”

_____ _

“If you ever find your way into that thread,” Natasha says sweetly, “I will chop your fingers off.”

_____ _

 

_____ _

New York happens and for a few terrifying days Natasha feels like she's dying inside. Loki is right: her whole world hangs in the balance and she bargains for one man, but it's only because that man has become her whole world. 

_____ _

She tells herself that if they don't make it through together, if she doesn't manage to get him back, she'll try her damn hardest not to die. Living without him will be the most appropriate punishment for her failure.

_____ _

Natasha has always been one to operate better with a stick than with a carrot.

_____ _

They do make it through, but the cost is horrible. Coulson is dead, along with two dozen others.

_____ _

After Loki is shipped off to Asgard, she takes Clint to Iowa. On the road she braces herself and opens the thread. There are three messages.

_____ _

_C: Glad he's okay._

_____ _

_M: +1_

_____ _

_H: +1. Tell him I'm sorry._

_____ _

She takes a deep breath that feels like crying, and she's not sure if it's because of sadness or relief.

_____ _

_R: Don't worry, Maria. You had to do what you had to do._

_____ _

 

_____ _

The first night is difficult. Clint is shattered and so is she, but even after the long drive from New York and God knows how many sleepless days before it, he's still not able to unwind. They're lying on their bed, windows open and a soft breeze ruffling the curtains, and he's trembling, holding her tight while his whole body is rocking with spasms.

_____ _

“Clint,” she murmurs, carding both hands through his hair. “I'm here. It's over. Shhh.”

_____ _

He looks at her with bloodshot, terrified eyes. “Is it?”

_____ _

“It is. Trust me.”

_____ _

He laughs bitterly. “Trust you. Do you trust me, Tasha? Can you sleep with me by your side? Are you so sure you won't wake up with my hands around your neck?”

_____ _

She's not. But this is not about what she needs.

_____ _

“I do,” she says.

_____ _

She closes her eyes and wills herself to sleep. 

_____ _

When she opens them again it's morning and he's sleeping peacefully next to her.

_____ _

 

_____ _

*

_____ _

_2\. Support_

_____ _

_If you feel that you could follow your partner to the end of the world, then you probably would. If you're both willing to support each other's decisions and stand by each other's side when things get tight, then your relationship will probably last for years to come._

_____ _

 

_____ _

In the weeks after New York, May feels shaken.

_____ _

Not in the expected sense, no. Sure, aliens came blasting through the sky and for twelve hours it seemed like the worst would happen, but that's not what rattled her.

_____ _

It was the fact that even during those twelve hours she didn't give a flying fuck.

_____ _

“You can't keep living like this,” she tells her reflection in the mirror one morning. “You've wallowed enough. Get yourself together.”

_____ _

There's much to be done in the aftermath of the Chitauri invasion, the most pleasant of which is tearing Nick Fury a new one for his illusion that he could play God. May has always respected hierarchy, but fuck if taking it out on the one-eyed asshole doesn't feel good. Phil was her friend, dammit.

_____ _

Fury listens to her silently, meaning that he either thinks she's right or he's planning to capitalize on her overstepping by asking her for a favor afterwards. Well, he's got another thing coming if he—. 

_____ _

“Coulson is alive.”

_____ _

The shock freezes May's body, going like a jolt through her system.

_____ _

“He's alive and he's going to get better, and as soon as he's back he's going to assemble a team in Zephyr One to investigate the cases SHIELD doesn't have the time to classify.”

_____ _

May finds her voice. “Does he know that?”

_____ _

“Yes, he does know that. I want you to go with him. Rehabilitation was hard, and I need someone to keep an eye on him and make sure there were no side effects.”

_____ _

“You want me to spy on him.”

_____ _

“I want you to take care of him. Of all the Level 7 agents we have you've known him the longest, and he won't take counsel from any fledglings he might select.”

_____ _

Say whatever you want about Nick Fury, he knows how to play people like a pro. If only he could do for himself what he's doing now for Phil. Hill is every bit as ruthlessly competent as her mentor, but he doesn't seem to listen to her as much as he should. Maybe because she has a little obstacle that's called ethics.

_____ _

May takes the job.

_____ _

 

_____ _

Natasha starts going on missions with Captain America, providing May with an infinite source of amusement as she floods their message thread with increasingly outrageous suggestions of possible SHIELD employees to set him up with. May is fairly sure that Natasha is doing this just to get a reaction from Sharon, but the new generation of Carter spies proves as unflappable as the first one. Good for her.

_____ _

The fact that Sharon gets assigned to keep an eye on Steve Rogers while pretending to be a nurse makes May decide that, among his many other treats, Nick Fury is a really sick bastard.

_____ _

 

_____ _

SHIELD falls, and May's world breaks apart for the second time.

_____ _

She does her job as efficiently as she knows, keeping all emotion out of it. Friends and colleagues of a lifetime prove to be traitors one after the other, and trying to survive this mess is easier than trying to handle the constant betrayals, because these betrayals cut deeper than real wounds.

_____ _

She finds a moment to herself after the first hours. She thinks about Hill and Carter and Romanoff: all three of them are exactly at the center of this shitstorm, and who knows who else of their colleagues is going to turn out to be working for the other side? This thing runs much deeper than anyone had originally realized. Even your closest friends can point their gun at you.

_____ _

The thought stops her in her tracks. 

_____ _

No. Not them. 

_____ _

She forces her hands to stop trembling and opens the message thread, telling herself that at this point silence can mean anything. They can either be HYDRA and alive, or SHIELD and dead, or any combination of the above.

_____ _

She finds a long string of messages. The first one is Sharon's:

_____ _

_C: I bloody well hope this thing is tightly encrypted, Nat – someone shot Fury_

_____ _

Maria's and Natasha's replies are exchanges of information and attempts to coordinate their movements. Somewhere towards the bottom, there's another message from Sharon:

_____ _

_C: Mel? You OK? Be safe!_

_____ _

She looks at the screen, a mix of emotions threatening to explode. 

_____ _

As she types her response — _Working on it, Zephyrous secure, will keep you posted_ — she wonders if Sharon's leap of faith means that she's dangerously naive or simply infinitely better than May at judging people.

_____ _

She's almost absolutely sure it's the second.

_____ _

Well, here you go, May: another thing to add to the list of future improvements.

_____ _

 

_____ _

“We need to go to DC, help as much as we can,” Phil tells her later.

_____ _

“DC will be fine. They've got it under control,” she responds.

_____ _

 

_____ _

After the dust settles, Sharon goes off to work for the CIA. May wouldn't expect anything less – if there's a woman able to thrive in this environment, it's deceptively soft-spoken Sharon Carter with her take-no-shit attitude and spine of steel. The boys at Langley won't know what hit them.

_____ _

Natasha disappears, presumably to her and Barton's summer house, after handing a bunch of fat senators their fat asses at Capitol Hill. There are no classified missions to be kept out of the message thread anymore, but May still does her the courtesy of not asking where she's headed to. If anyone is entitled to some months of disappearing from the face of Earth, it's Natasha.

_____ _

Hill decides that she doesn't want to play the prize for the rivaling organizations that will fight each other for SHIELD's crumbs. She approaches Stark in less than 24 hours, and it takes him less than 24 minutes to accept her. Stark's lawyers should be able to create an iron circle around her in case someone gets the crazy idea to indict her. She tells May that she's welcome to join the new team in New York if she wants to.

_____ _

May looks at Phil who is leaning back in his armchair, eyes closed and whiskey glass still dangling from his fingers. 

_____ _

She types her response with steady hands.

_____ _

_M: I'm perfectly fine here. Thanks though._

_____ _

 

_____ _

*

_____ _

_3\. Respect_

_____ _

_Respect demonstrates itself in various forms, all of which are necessary for a healthy relationship. If you and your partner accept each other as you are without trying to change your personalities, if you respect each other's wishes and boundaries and if the word “pressure” is the last thing that comes to mind when you think of your relationship, then there's a good chance you're in it for the long haul._

_____ _

 

_____ _

Maria Hill is equipped to handle whatever life throws at her, but the aftermath of SHIELD's fall has been really hard. 

_____ _

If she was another kind of person, she would have been crushed under the weight of what she would regard as a personal failure. SHIELD had steadily been poisoned from the ground up and she hadn't had a clue. But she's not that kind of person, so she grits her teeth and decides that someone has to help smoke out every remaining pest. 

_____ _

Stark offers her protection, and access to funds and toys she wouldn't have had if she'd gone rogue. She keeps tabs on Coulson and stays in touch with Fury. Everyone else, including the man himself, think that she's still Fury's pawn, conveniently placed on the right square of the chessboard, but Maria is done following orders blindly. If she has to play her part and lie through her teeth in order to coordinate the various remnants of SHIELD's former empire, then fine – someone's got to do it if they want to finish HYDRA off for good. But she's doing it on her own volition, and not because her erstwhile boss asked her to.

_____ _

Of course, it doesn't hurt to let him believe that.

_____ _

Pepper Potts is nice though. As is being followed by a bunch of amateurs on a regular basis, and having the FBI believe that they're doing a decent job in protecting her.

_____ _

And, among everything else, she has Natasha pestering her about Sam.

_____ _

_H: Get off my back, Romanoff. If you ever decide to get your ass off that island, you can come to New York and try saying that shit to my face._

_____ _

_M: Can I be there when she does?_

_____ _

_R: You know, denial is bad for you. I tried it for years but it didn't work. Tell her, Sharon._

_____ _

_C: BRB_

_____ _

What really pisses Maria off is that May is willing to mess around with her sex life in these messages, but doesn't bother to notify her before she arrives for a face-to-face. 

_____ _

Maria genuinely believes that Project TAHITI was Fury's worst transgression by far – even worse than tampering with the Tesseract, even worse than anything else he's hidden inside that black cube. (Yes, she knows about the fucking cube.) She also believes that Coulson has a right to learn what happened to him, so she spills the beans to May and makes sure to tell her that Fury is dead with a poker face unworthy even of a first-year Academy student. May understands and nods, thanking her for the confirmation.

_____ _

No regrets. 

_____ _

She doesn't regret telling Talbot about the Providence base either. Someone has to make the hard decisions. Although, as it turns out, Coulson really doesn't want to give an inch, which in turn means that she'd better help him take down John Garrett and his sleazy underling if she wants to end this sorry story as soon as possible.

_____ _

It really is a shame about Garrett. Ward she can live with; he’d always been a little shit, and him switching to HYDRA wasn't a loss to SHIELD as much as an inconvenience. But John? Dammit.

_____ _

 

_____ _

The first morning after she sleeps with Sam, she wakes up with a ping from her phone.

_____ _

“Un-fucking-believable,” she mutters at the screen.

_____ _

Sam rolls and snakes an arm around her waist.

_____ _

“Wha'sa matter?” he murmurs groggily, kissing her ear.

_____ _

_R: I'm deeply offended it took you so long. Come down for coffee?_

_____ _

“I need to get up,” she tells Sam. “Natasha is back, and I would really like to greet her with all my sisterly love and affection.”

_____ _

 

_____ _

The Avengers assemble again and Maria coordinates their missions as they try to locate the scepter. The Tower is a bit like a fraternity dorm, but she still manages to slip into Sam's apartment every night or have him come to hers. 

_____ _

It might come as a surprise, given the large number of female agents on the roster, but most men in SHIELD didn't really react well to strong and competent women. You're too soft and well-spoken? _Not good for the field, darling._ You swear a lot and take no shit? _God, what a bitch._ Maria had long ago decided that if she couldn't find someone who didn't feel threatened by her skills, then the whole thing was not worth her time and effort. It's not like it's hard to scratch the itch with random strangers.

_____ _

Contrary to popular belief, Maria doesn't get off playing the dominatrix in bed. All she wants is someone who sees her as a normal person and not as a trophy.

_____ _

Sam is smart and funny, with a sharp sense of humor and a self-possessed demeanor that, however pleasant, implies a man who's not afraid of anyone. He isn't even afraid to call her “sweetheart” when they're alone. He generally isn't afraid to do a great many things when they're alone. But whether he's sweet and gentle or hard and rough, he never makes her feel anything other than an equal. 

_____ _

It doesn't hurt that he has abs to die for. That, and the fact that he's frequently off, chasing leads on the Winter Soldier, which means that she's left with a lot of room to breathe.

_____ _

It's really, really nice. 

_____ _

She didn't think she was one for relationships, but this one she can live with.

_____ _

 

_____ _

Coulson contacts her with information on Loki's scepter. It's in Sokovia and the Avengers are sent to dispatch it. The celebratory party is victorious. For the first time in almost a year, Maria doesn't look at the future with foreboding.

_____ _

Then, of course, Stark and Banner have to create a murder bot.

_____ _

 

_____ _

After Sokovia explodes over the sky, after Coulson provides them with the repaired Helicarrier so Fury can have his heroic moment, after Maria handles the media backlash and gets Congress off their backs once again, the Avengers move to their new facility in upstate New York. Maria would gladly settle for a bit of boredom for a change, but her father selects this exact moment to drop a bomb on their family.

_____ _

It hurts, it really does, and the worst part is that she keeps wondering if she could have done something to prevent it, had she bothered to visit home at least once in the past two years.

_____ _

Here's the thing: when Maria hurts, she doesn't want to be with anyone. She needs time to process the situation alone, and her usual response to pain is to back off from any kind of emotional intimacy.

_____ _

Especially now, when her father has disappeared into the sunset with his assistant and almost all of his and her mother's lifetime savings.

_____ _

How the fuck are you supposed to react to such news? Do you embrace the boiling rage, contact the useless son of a bitch and spit it out to his face, or do you remember that he's a normal human being, who actually managed to bring you up quite decently and is entitled to fuck up once in his life?

_____ _

There's no easy answer, so after a week-long trip to Chicago and a short discussion with her brother to arrange their mother's financial support, she returns to New York and buries herself in her work. 

_____ _

Sam has respected her stay-away-from-me vibes with admirable tact, but after a month of inexplicable distance he's obviously had enough, which is why he knocks on her door at one o'clock in the morning. It was to be expected, really. At some point there had to be a Discussion.

_____ _

Maria does the obvious and tackles him into bed. 

_____ _

“Wait,” he gasps as she's tearing away his shirt. “I came to tell you — fuck — you don't need—”

_____ _

She shoves him down and starts working on his jeans.

_____ _

“Fuck,” he gasps as she's taking him to her mouth. “Oh God, this is good. No — stop. _Stop. Maria!_ ”

_____ _

She lets him go and raises an eyebrow. “Can we forego the discussion?”

_____ _

“That's what I came here to tell you. You don't need to tell me what's going on if you don't want to. But I missed you.”

_____ _

“Good.”

_____ _

Later, tangled in the sheets and around each other, he trails his fingers along her arm.

_____ _

“I meant it, you know,” he murmurs. 

_____ _

“I don't want to do this right now,” she says clearly. “I might possibly not want to do this ever.” She's not a woman who talks about her feelings, and she's not sure she can change that for anyone.

_____ _

“It's alright.”

_____ _

She shifts to better see his face. “It is?”

_____ _

“Yes, it is. You don't talk, I get that. But next time something bad happens to you, there's no need to push me away. Just tell me you want to be alone for a while and I'll leave you be.”

_____ _

She buries her face to his chest. “I'm not an easy person.”

_____ _

His voice is smiling. “No, you're not. But you're the person I want.”

_____ _

She smiles too.

_____ _

That she can _definitely_ live with.

_____ _

 

_____ _

*

_____ _

_4\. Patience_

_____ _

_Patience is an essential ingredient for a successful relationship. Every person is different, and each one of us might hold a different set of beliefs and priorities, from our morning routine to tremendous decisions that shape our life. If you and your partner understand each other's needs and have the patience to stand by each other as you're fulfilling them, then you've got what it takes to make it through the good and the bad._

_____ _

 

_____ _

Berlin is great. It's not like she has the time to go sightseeing or spend her Sundays having picnics in the park, but there are far worse places she could end up while on the CIA's payroll.

_____ _

Sharon learns about Andrew's death via a CIA channel dedicated to tracking Inhumans. It's frankly ridiculous, the notion that the US government can try to put a leash on the constantly growing numbers of the population that demonstrate special abilities, but she's been keeping an eye on the lists anyway. SHIELD's involvement means that some familiar names are bound to show up.

_____ _

_C: I'm sorry, May._

_____ _

_M: Thanks._

_____ _

Natasha asks if there's going to be a service, but by the time there's a response Natasha's already left for Lagos. Sharon doesn't need their message thread to learn about that: it's on every single news channel.

_____ _

The resulting chaos means overtime in every national and international agency on the planet, but Sharon isn't there for any part of it.

_____ _

Aunt Peggy is dead.

_____ _

She meets Natasha in London the day before the funeral. They have a quick coffee in Kensington and it's nice, because they haven't seen each other face-to-face for more than two years. They talk about Lagos, about the Accords, about Hill and Sam.

_____ _

“Steve is coming tomorrow,” Natasha says.

_____ _

Oh. 

_____ _

“I'm not surprised,” Sharon responds carefully. “Is that why you're here?”

_____ _

“I came for both of you. Don't change the subject.”

_____ _

“What is the subject?”

_____ _

“You know, he wasn't ready to let go back then. I kept trying to set him up with every harlot under the sun only to get a reaction, but it was too early even for that. He was still mourning the years they'd lost. Maybe now he'll finally be able to move on.”

_____ _

Sharon clanks her cup on the saucer. “Natasha, I love you and I've missed you, but please don't break my balls today. _Especially_ not today.”

_____ _

Natasha doesn't budge. Damn her.

_____ _

“Life moves on, Sharon. You think it's weird and creepy and her body isn’t even cold yet, but I'm not telling you to hit on him tomorrow after the service. I'm just telling you that there was something two years ago, and there might be something now, and you'd be stupid not to act on it just because you feel guilty that you're alive and she's dead.”

_____ _

“Is this because you think you owe me a debt? For that time I went to Barton eight years ago?”

_____ _

Natasha's eyes glint with humor, but her tone is serious. “I will never presume that I have repaid that, whatever I might do for you in return.”

_____ _

“Well, considered it repaid, 'cause if it wasn't me, May or Hill would have gotten to him at some point. And I'm kind of regretting it right now. I think I liked you better when you were a programmed murder bot.”

_____ _

“No, you didn't.”

_____ _

“Alright, I didn't,” Sharon agrees. “But get off my back. How's Barton anyway?”

_____ _

“Same as he's always been: stubborn as a mule. He doesn't want to sign. _It doesn't agree with his moral code._ ”

_____ _

“I bet it doesn't.”

_____ _

Natasha sighs. “There's too much male pigheadedness going around. None of them will back off. They'll only be happy once they've acted on their fucking beliefs. Honestly, it's like herding a bunch of ducklings.”

_____ _

Her annoyed expression makes Sharon laugh. “So what are you gonna do?”

_____ _

Natasha's face clouds. “I'm not sure I can stop any of them at this point. But whatever happens, we'll find a way to handle it. I'll make sure of that.”

_____ _

 

_____ _

Steve approaches her after the funeral. It's a bit awkward, and it definitely feels weird, but Sharon can't deny the truth: there was something two years ago and there is something now. They exchange numbers and agree to meet again after the whole Accords thing blows over.

_____ _

Natasha gloats just a little and then she's off to Vienna, right in the middle of hell at the moment it breaks loose. Sharon remains calm, but fuck if this shit isn't getting old. She's really tired of being afraid about the well-being of the people she loves. 

_____ _

She repeats this to herself in the next few days as the events keep unfolding in front of her eyes. It starts with Barnes' escape, it continues with the battle in the airport, and it escalates with whatever goes down in that bunker in Siberia.

_____ _

What follows has all the external characteristics of a FUBAR situation, but Sharon recognizes the ingeniously configured chessboard as something that bears the unique signatures of Maria and Natasha. Clint, Sam, and Lang end up at the Raft, along with Wanda Maximoff, who is predictably confined in not especially humane conditions. The whole thing is so outrageously unsanctioned that by the time Steve busts them out, public opinion has already shifted and the first human right activists have started flooding social media with passionate posts that go viral. The photos of Maximoff in that straitjacket only help ignite the fire.

_____ _

The resulting outcry, coupled with Baron Zemo's arrest, leads to an impasse. Reluctant to stain their hands further, the UN follows their time-sanctioned tactic when faced with tough decisions: they back off. 

_____ _

Sharon follows the news with amusement which gradually turns into genuine delight. It's a man's world, but apparently only because women have only recently started to realize that they could take it over just as easily.

_____ _

Two weeks later, Steve sends her a message.

_____ _

_Wakanda._

_____ _

 

_____ _

T'Challa's decision to lead his country out of the shadows comes at a most convenient time for Sharon. The United States hasten to appoint a representative to the newly unveiled nation and General Ross' intervention, as a personal favor to the new king, means that her transfer to the State Department and her designation to Wakanda gets approved and finalized in a matter of days.

_____ _

It's just as well. Otherwise a CIA employee shacking up with a former international fugitive would make a very impressive headline.

_____ _

Her first official tour as a foreign state representative is something close to a religious experience. She's met her fair share of empowered women —hell, she and her girlfriends are prime examples of the sort— but she still could never imagine something like the Dora Milaje.

_____ _

“You know,” she says that night to Steve, “I had never in my life entertained any lesbian thoughts until today, when I saw Okoye training with the squad. And bear in mind that I'm pretty close friends with Natasha.”

_____ _

Steve's expression is priceless. “Thank you for all these mental images. May I still keep them in my mind after I get your clothes off?”

_____ _

She laughs as he throws her on the bed. Life is good. 

_____ _

 

_____ _

Time can heal many wounds. Sharon wouldn't blame Tony Stark if he'd kept his distance, but he accepts an invitation from the King to visit Wakanda only one year later.

_____ _

Natasha still keeps a low profile, she and Barton splitting their time between Iowa and their mysterious house in the Mediterranean, but Sharon wouldn't put this past her.

_____ _

_C: How the heck did you manage to convince him?_

_____ _

_R: He's a better man than you thought. Now make sure Mr. Carter plays nice._

_____ _

“Don't go thinking I came here for you. T'Challa lured me in with the promise I'd see their toys,” are Stark's first words when he meets Steve.

_____ _

Mr. Carter actually hugs him.

_____ _

 

_____ _

May has gotten them used to her long periods of radio silence by now, but this time she's disappeared for far too long. Given that last year's stint involved something called The Framework and living a whole life in some kind of dystopian virtual reality, Sharon thinks that she's perfectly justified for being worried. For all they know she could have bloody well been abducted by aliens this time.

_____ _

Hill obviously shares her concern, because she does some digging and informs them that the whole SHIELD team was wanted by the military for a brief period of time. They were last seen in a diner in California and then proceeded to magically disappear out of thin air. The only person left behind was Leo Fitz, who was held in a military facility for six months until Hunter broke him out, and now he's disappeared along with the rest of them.

_____ _

What the fuck does Phil Coulson do? Has he discovered how to cloak his operatives apart from their planes? 

_____ _

Shuri maintains it would be possible with the correct calibrations.

_____ _

 

_____ _

On the two-year anniversary of Sharon's move to Wakanda, the thread finally pings with a message.

_____ _

_M: I'm back. Really tired of this shit. Wanna meet in a spa somewhere in the Alps?_

_____ _

 

_____ _

*

_____ _

_5\. Independence_

_____ _

_If you've made it this far nodding in satisfaction, it means that your relationship has four important qualities that can make it last for a lifetime. However, here's the fifth and most important one for you to remember: love is a dance for two, but you should never forget to dance alone too. Keep your own interests, follow your own ambitions, and try to always find some time for yourself... and above all, try to always find some time for your friends._

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

 

_____ _

“So, Krees,” Maria says.

_____ _

“A very disagreeable race,” May agrees.

_____ _

Sharon doesn't even bother to hide her grin. Neither of them is the touchy-feely kind, but judging by the amount of hugs dispersed at the beginning of this long weekend, she's not the only one who had desperately missed her friends.

_____ _

She leans back in her chaise longue, letting the pale, late-spring sun soak her face and drowning out the conversation. The Swiss Alps are magnificent any time of the year, but Sharon has always loved spring. It's like warmth is coming barreling down the snow-covered mountains around the valley, bringing the fresh smell of grass with it.

_____ _

“So,” Natasha says. “Not that I'm complaining, but is this a thing we're doing from now on? Meeting for spa weekends?”

_____ _

“It depends,” Hill responds, eyes closed. “May, are you planning to stay on this side of spacetime for the foreseeable future?”

_____ _

“This is a serious upgrade from eating meatloaf and drinking piss coffee in SHIELD's cafeteria, so shut up.”

_____ _

“From what we understand, it's a serious upgrade from anything you've done since the moment you stepped on that plane.” Natasha sits up, helping herself to a second cup of Earl Gray. “You know May, I'd never thought that I'd say this, but it seems that Coulson doesn't know how to show a girl a good time. He's been dragging you from dump to dump for six years and yet you're still there?”

_____ _

May opens an eye. “Are we going to do this now?”

_____ _

“Now is a good time as ever.”

_____ _

“Now is a horrible time. I'm trying to relax.”

_____ _

“We've got a bet with Hill,” Sharon supplies.

_____ _

May doesn't seem impressed. “Then you deserve nothing less than staying in doubt.”

_____ _

Sharon decides to let it go for now. It hasn't escaped her notice that as soon as she opened her eyes, the rest of them had let theirs close. It's been going like this since the moment they sat on the patio this morning. Like a practiced dance. 

_____ _

This life has really screwed them all up. Except Natasha, of course – judging by her state when she started as SHIELD, this life is an upgrade from her former one. At least now she's got people to watch her back.

_____ _

She smiles again, leaning back and deciding to keep watch for a while. “Anyway,” she says. “Next time we'll meet in Wakanda and you'll get to know Nakia and Okoye. They're amazing. You'll really hit it off.”

_____ _

“See, May? You go away for eight months and she's already replaced us. Next thing you know, she's going to open another message thread and talk to her new girlfriends instead of us.”

_____ _

Sharon briefly entertains the thought of finding something to throw at Hill, but decides it's not worth the effort to move. This chaise longue is really comfortable. “You know it's been more than a decade,” she says instead.

_____ _

“What is?”

_____ _

“Us. That message thread. Natasha– when you opened it, did you imagine it would last so long?”

_____ _

Hill moans. “Are you going to do _this_ now? The Ode to Friendship thing?”

_____ _

“Hey, you were the one who came up with the let's-make-friends-with-the-Black-Widow idea.”

_____ _

“And look how well it all turned out.” 

_____ _

Sharon turns her head to look at Natasha, who's watching them with an inscrutable expression. The sun is suddenly hidden by a passing cloud. The temperature seems to have dropped by ten degrees. 

_____ _

“So,” Natasha says slowly. “Maria forced you to form some sort of humanitarian club? What was the mandate? _Bring the poor mistreated girl back from the dead?_ And somehow you never happened to mention that all these years?”

_____ _

Sharon's heart sinks. “It wasn't like that,” she says. “But you were like a hollow shell, and everyone was avoiding you like the plague. Barton was still in Alaska. You were alone. I don't need anyone to force me to approach someone who's clearly suffering. Especially when they're not even able to realize that they actually suffer.”

_____ _

Natasha opens her mouth to respond, but Sharon is not done. “And you should have known by now that no one can force me or May to do something we don't want to.”

_____ _

Hill snorts. May decides to cut in. “No one formed any club. Hill made the obvious decision to make the most out of Barton's inability to follow orders and, since for the first time in her life she demonstrated something akin to kindness, I decided to assist her. Sharon just came along because she likes people.”

_____ _

“Yeah, that's me. All girly and shiny.”

_____ _

May smiles dryly. “Glad to see your paranoia remains intact, Nat.”

_____ _

Natasha seems to process this, but Hill really hates sentimentalism.

_____ _

“If you say _thank you_ or _I'm sorry_ , I swear to God–”

_____ _

She cuts herself off, because she's seen what everyone else is seeing: a woman standing in the middle of the clearing, about a hundred yards away from them. None of them noticed her approaching; it's like she just suddenly materialized there. She's motionless, watching them carefully.

_____ _

And her skin is fucking _green_. 

_____ _

Sharon sighs deeply. What the fuck is wrong with them. Why can't they have a normal coffee date after five years. Why oh why does disaster keep following them around?

_____ _

She should have become an accountant like her cousin Maggie. Accounting is boring, but so is facing increasingly fucked up situations all the time. At least Maggie gets to meet her girlfriends for coffee once a week.

_____ _

The woman seems to make a decision and starts walking towards them.

_____ _

Maria's hand goes to the butter knife. Natasha seems to be mentally calculating the damage she can do with the margarita muddler, wearing an annoyed expression which means that she's berating herself for leaving her guns back at the hotel room. Sharon looks at May, since she's the one who has experience in space travel and time travel and all twisted kinds of travel, so she's the better equipped to decide if this is a bad alien or a good alien.

_____ _

The closest any of Maggie's friends have come to seeing an alien was the Chitauri corpses on the CNN evening news.

_____ _

May's eyes are half-closed in slits, but as the woman approaches she relaxes infinitesimally. Maria notices the motion and lowers the knife. Natasha puts the muddler down.

_____ _

The woman arrives at the table.

_____ _

The four of them look at each other, seemingly arriving at the same decision.

_____ _

Natasha smiles pleasantly. “Coffee?”

_____ _

 

_____ _


End file.
